Little Things

I’m still trying to write, trying. So today I thought I’d share something a little insightful about myself. Sharing about the self is the most difficult thing to do as it means laying yourself vulnerable to outside intrusion and judgement. 

Nature, or rather being out in nature, always makes me feel a little brighter inside. There is something about watching ducks gliding across a lake, sparrows squabbling on a bird feeder, and geese tending their young that just fills my being with a swarming of warmth and joy.

This isn’t a sudden found realisation born from searching for light in the cloudiness, I have always felt like this. Even when times are dreary and heaviness hangs in my chest like lead laden concrete, watching nature’s wonders always brings sunshine. 

I wish I could really explain it, or maybe actually it is better that I cannot. I do believe that somethings just are and don’t need to be analysed and dissected into tiny pieces. This is the one part of my psyche that I have never questioned, doubted or sought to find a reason as to why. 

So I am looking forward to spring, and the beginning of new journeys and especially watching last years chicks starting on with their own adult lives.

I am looking forward to the little things, and most importantly I am looking forward.

 

Jabs

 

Who Can Me?

Who can love me?
Bitter, sour heart that beats
Who can need me?
Vicious, cruel soul that bleeds
Who can save me?
Fractured, poisoned life of weeds
Who can see me?
Visible, hidden emotion that pleads

Can I love me?
Can I need me?
Can I save me?
When I am blind to see

Who can help me?
Broken, repaired mind of cracks
Who can relieve me?
Beating, tapping belief that is strained
Who can repair me?
Locked, unsecured eyes that weep
Who can hear me?
Muted, loud essence clamouring still

Can I help me?
Can I relieve me?
Can I repair me?
When I can’t hear myself?

Who can me?

Jade Smith
29/12/13

I Sense You

I sense you
the crack in the grass
the lavender on the breeze
the dew falling from the sky

I recognise you
the reflection in the puddle
the lyric within the prose
the beat within the humdrums

I feel you
the feather fledged for new growth
the raindrop springing new streams
the death becoming a new life

I need you
the change hidden in tempests
the light drowned in the shadows
the emotion encased within concrete

I sense you
the altering of tides to neap
the melting of metal walls
the thawing of this heart

I need the sense I recognise I feel for you

JS
July 2014

Love A Thought

                     Love is fragile and yet strong, full but can be so empty. Love is happiness and loneliness, healing and yet lethal.
                     Love is both the same and opposite sides of the coin of life; so much so, that it becomes our greatest fear as well as our ultimate desire.
                     Those that have it often waste it, those who don’t scratch around for the crumb remnants of it. We spend so much time thinking about, searching for and then dissecting love that how often do we actually stop and just bathe in its encompassing warmth? How often do we just miss the fact it is actually in our lives, just not in the form we hoped for or expected?

JS
April 2014

Heart Touch

Touch my heart and turn it about
Flood it in tenderness wash away this drought
Wrap it up in blankets to replace bandages worn
Re-fledge wings once weary so this soul can soar

Touch my mind and free it from within
Open the doors slammed shut to block begins
Nourish the need to see more than this whole
Take away the nerve to make a being be bold

Touch my hand and lead through a way
Where no path is wrong and no trying mislaid
Show guidance with tenderness to lead boots to float
Wind in tattered sails fuelled by gusts of new hope

Touch my eyes to lift a veil of near sight
Se past the walls set to show a won fight
Bring love to a life that’s poisoned with cold doubt
To bring an outcome of sunshine where demons can’t shout

JS
5/8/13

But I Awoke

I awoke with fear in my soul
But this was nothing undue

I rose with hurt in my eyes
For all the wire I’ve torn through

I came to with a shadow in my mind
And the reasons are long knew

I was risen with dark clouds across the sun
But this day there was a spark too

Because

I awoke with joy in my heart
And the reason was you

JS
26th August 2013

You Took Everything (I let you)

You took everything
I had left and I let you
I waved farewell as it went
I tried too late to salvage the crumbs
But by then they were gone
Blown away by your tides

You took everything
I had left and I wanted you to
I craved for this to be real
To be true and my chance
But it wasn’t I was late
Running on a watch of mistimed fate

You took away everything
I had left and I knew it
I sat back and let it happen
I believed you and all those words
But they were lies I was poisoned
By a snake venom of epic proportion

You took everything
I had left and you blew it
I opened up you gave no warning
I cried for you an enraged river
But only for your raft
To sail away before I could slow it

You took everything
I had left an I let you
I fell for you with no safety precaution
I hit the floor and shattered to shards
But you were already gone
So now is my all

You took everything

JS
27th September 2010

Letting Go

I need to let this go I know
I need to set this free
I need to finally realise
There will never be a you and me

It was all a dream inside my mind
A flitting of the heart
This deep filled yearn of need and want
That I must know could never be

You crept in through a back door
And resided inside me so profound
I was awed and in wonder of all that you are
Never questioning just what did it mean

Maybe it was my weakness
A pull on me that was out of my control
And perhaps I should have known better
What in me should you ever see

And now you are no longer here
All that’s left is a burning inside
Feeling not fooled or conned or deeply misplaced
Just a dream of what I wanted to have been

JS
2/3/11

Forest Heart

An overgrown forest inside a heart
Torn by brambles of fruit
That used to nourish now torn apart
Roots intertwine with branches constricted
Once they headed towards a light
That’s now drowned and vindictive

Running here is a stream of purest blue
A mirage once placated
Now it gurgles angry as it trickles through
Where once ran abound a new found hope
Now muddied by rotted foliage
To take hold of new birth and choke

At the edge of the wood stands the abyss
There’s no escape from a haven
Now a cage has sprung from the idylls
No shelter to be found freely within
Though there’s no open ground to fear
This is what grows when loneliness sets in

JS
27/7/13

Cusp Of A Rose

A cindered petal on the cusp of a rose
Discarded to an asphalt of beauty overthrown
And here rests depth in the shallowness of dreams
A metaphor without meaning for those who seek the means
The delicate bloom that became wasted too soon
Still lived in a glory though burnt and tinged with gloom
And so weeps tears of sand to drown flooded lands
Surviving only those who could take to flight with tied hands

A thriving petal on the cusp of a dying rose
Fighting thorough the trails despite all that is known
This is the fight of hope over overwhelming adversity
A metaphor fuelled in meaning for those cowering on the floor
The fragile life daring to grow in the wastes
Still overshadowed by the acid clouds of despair’s bloody taste
And so weeps tears of pure water to quench thirsty lands
Surviving with those who travel forward with bound hands

JS
20/7/13