Numb Reflection

My reflection mocks me
The hyena inside my own mind
The delirium of certain knowledge
And all the fallacies sought in denial

Numb when I should be feeling
And feeling only within the numb
Cotton candy clouds of the enigma
The truth is I allow my heart to be bound

If I’m happy I’m surely not
And in sorrow there’s comfort in pain
The madness set in the normality
Of all the evidence that’s looking for denial

Tears flow when they should be sated
Eyes dry when emotion chokes a hold
Feather touched scars still searing
Should they be smooth ironed over by now?

My soul pities me
The mocking bird perched within my soul
A song of here and now and eternity
Repeated rhythmically in the sounds of denial

Echoes rock and reverberate empty
When full just a clanking inside
Blanketed visions of what could be
Always smothered in the midst of the strive

My reflection mocks me
The hyena rocking in my own mind
Delirious on the gases of affliction
And all the losses sprung from self-served denial

JS
29/1/13